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12 Things You Should Never Say To A Musician

12things_Main

1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician

I am a musician. Not trying. Trying to be a musician is watching the first YouTube video on how to hold a guitar. Not what I have done for the past 15 years. That is BEING a musician.

2. You Sound Like…

I know you’re trying to be nice by putting me in good company, but musicians want to feel original. We don’t want to hear we sound like everyone else. That we’re unoriginal. It’s fine for you to sell your friends on listening to someone new by comparing them to well known artists, but when talking to a musician, the best compliment is “you sound like YOU and it’s awesome.” Unless you’re talking to a pop producer, then yeah, “it sounds like Katy Perry” is probably the best compliment you could give.

3. You Should Try Out For American Idol

I will slap you.

4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?

When your radio plays better shit.

5. You Should Be On The Voice

Because that’s a career builder. Right Jermaine?

6. You Must Love Karaoke

No, actually, I hate karaoke because I have to listen to you sing.

7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?

You don’t have $10 to support my music, but you have $50 for the round of shots you just bought everyone?

8. What’s Your Real Job?

It’s this little field called music. It’s way more real than those TPS reports you put together for the Bobs.

9. What’s Your Backup Plan

What’s yours?

10. It Will Be Great Exposure

Meaning, it doesn’t pay. No thanks.

11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song

And I have a great idea on how you can fix my faucet better. But let’s keep these things to ourselves.

12. Free Bird

That stopped being funny in ’97.

Photo is by Robert Dalton on Flickr used with the Creative Commons License

Ari Herstand is a Los Angeles based singer/songwriter and the creator of Ari’s Take. Listen to his new album, Brave Enough, on Spotify or download it on BandCamp. Follow him on Twitter: @aristake

 

 

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Comments (242)
  1. Priscilla

    Amazing post, Ari!


    Reply
  2. Niklas J. Blixt

    Hahah! Great stuff! Sadly all of them are true and people still think it’s okay to say them to us. Next time I’m having a meeting with people from the bank I think I’ll try the opposite tactics and say to the bank manager: “So, you’re trying to be a bank manager!” Just to se how the person reacts ;)


    Reply
    1. Larry

      You still hang with people like that? Life is too short. :-)


      Reply
  3. P

    To combat #15 I have learned free bird and will make people sit through it all if they don’t shut up about it.


    Reply
    1. P

      Correction, #12


      Reply
    2. Bob

      Re: Free Bird request – I tell them “I got your free bird right here”.


      Reply
      1. Ed

        I usually let them know that our band has an agreement with Skynard… They promise not to play any of our songs, providing we promise not to play any of theirs… (Lol!) Crowds love this :)


        Reply
      2. Rafe

        Play the bass part to Free Bird properly and tell them to go fuck themselves


        Reply
    3. Leslie Robinson

      Lol also telling the musicians you are very sick and drug yourself out to hear them. Can I shake your hand?


      Reply
    4. stupidjesse

      you should play freebird at a really slow speed just to annoy the people. i think its a lot funnier when its slow.


      Reply
    5. Jabsco

      I’ve found that getting on the microphone and saying, “Reverb? Ok, Soundman, could we get some more reverb on the vocals, the audience wants to hear some reverb? (9 times out of 10 the soundman plays into the joke) Great! Now we sound like we are in a hall.”


      Reply
    6. Dave

      its number 12?


      Reply
    7. Terry Groff

      I have never played (or had to play) Freebird but I know the guy who wrote it. If someone really requested it, I would first quiz the requester on who wrote the song and what was his first big pop hit that he wrote.


      Reply
  4. C.j. McMahon

    Hey man, good article, it speaks volumes for the masses of musicians that aren’t hobbyists, struggling to make a living


    Reply
    1. Cameron

      Nirvana unplugged in New York 1994! The Meat puppets lead guitarist said that haha


      Reply
  5. Paul Resnikoff

    Are you signed?


    Reply
    1. Ari Herstand

      Ha! Yes! #13


      Reply
  6. Craig bartal

    Quit whining and play yer fing guitar, or whatever.

    Be glad someone is taking any interest in you.

    Snarky snobby hipster posts like this do no one any good.


    Reply
    1. Paul Resnikoff

      That’s a little long-winded, but I suppose we could add that to the list.


      Reply
    2. Jay

      Quit “yer fing” whining and fix the clog in my toilet. I have a gig to get to and would like to be able to take a shit first.


      Reply
      1. Roger

        Because you are somehow better than a plumber, right?


        Reply
        1. Ellen

          Plumbers certainly make more money… hahahaha


          Reply
    3. Gia

      Hey Craig, we’re not all hipsters, and every word of this post is pure truth. Trust me. Now go get you shine box and piss off A/H. Have a nice day.


      Reply
    4. Anonymous

      I think these comments and replies are pathetic!! That most of you people are living with you heads in the clouds and refuse to admit the truth. U will never go anywhere a slong as you carry your elitist attitude. Pompous responses. No one owes you anything and no on ever has to listen to you or your music. Why do you want to be a performer of a musician if you HATE so much!! You are not a musician if you are not paying your bills with your music. It is a HOBBY!! You should all fall off your high horses and get a clue!!! Nobody has to like you or listen to you!! Lets see one of you write a song like FREE BIRD? You idiots!!!
      You all but a few sound as if you feel or think you are entitled!!!


      Reply
      1. Steve

        Hey, Anonymous:
        You’re obviously some untalented cunt who’s never played an instrument and thinks One Direction is a band. Unimaginative fucks like you are exactly the people we’re talking about. I’ve made a good living playing music for many years, and I deserve respect for my abilities and my talent (they’re not the same thing, by the way). So, if you don’t like our “elitist” attitude, go back to your parent’s house and jerk off to your Simon Cowell poster.


        Reply
        1. Ed

          @ Anno… I’ve been playing prof for 42 years non-stop. This is not some hobby (as I’m sure it must be with you). If you have ANY stage experience at all, you’d know this post is just too true (and ironic in a sense as well). Don’t quit your day job… ;)


          Reply
          1. Who Nose

            Maynard G. Krebs: Wirk??!!!! Did somebody say “Wirk”????!!! AAAhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!


            Reply
      2. Anonymous

        You misunderstand. We’re musicians because we love music, and music is not what’s being complained about here. It’s people like you. It’s not that free bird sucks, it’s that being asked to play it 300 times by someone holding a guitar upside down sucks. We don’t think we’re entitled to an audience, we think we’re entitled to some sort of filter between you and your “OMG I’m totally into music can I see your show for free while criticizing everything because I heard a few songs once so I totes know what I’m talking about” thoughts. No one likes a know-nothing know-it-all. See the difference?


        Reply
        1. Leslie Robinson

          Bullshit! Anonymous. I call bullshit! Get off your high horse and get a reality check. Negative people like you just post to get a reaction. Stfu


          Reply
          1. BandNovice-VocalMaster

            Bullshit, Leslie; I call bullshit! Leave your stupid fucking day-job you only do for the small amount of cash it gets you and get a reality check. Negative people like you post just to get a reaction(which you have, I might add). Shut the fuck up before I clog your throat with the neck of my acoustic guitar.


            Reply
            1. Xagyg

              Really, BM? So you AGREE with anonymous? Since you’re dissing Leslie and all…


              Reply
              1. Ray

                So…guys…there’s totally two different people posting as “anonymous”. Read the comments. The first one is a jackass, the second is responding to him.


                Reply
                1. Benny Katz

                  :-)


                  Reply
        2. Bo Ahlbertz

          Sorry Anonymous!
          You have totally misunderstood the thing. Musician is a profession. That means you get paid for doing a job. If you play for free then you are an amateur. Its the same thing as for golf or soccer. You can play it just for fun or you can charge people for it. And I also work some for the Musicians Union in Sweden (working environment).
          If you cannot see the humour in the 12 things I am sad for you. Of course it is excessive. We all new that but there is a lot of true in it as well. Especially 7, 8 and 10. We have to fight these things all the time. I have been working as an artist, songwriter and musician for many years now and I make my living out of it. And I have tried to have it as a hobby because it is not well paid if you not a star and most of us are not. But it does not work. Being a musician for me is not a fancy hobby. It’s hard work and a way of living. And it is fun.


          Reply
          1. Who Nose

            F*ck Money!…… It’s a F’ing TRAP…… EVERYONE should quit workin for MONEY…. and STOP buyin things with it too? What would happen if everyone stopped using money?


            Reply
      3. Another anonymous

        My words, and i am struggling to make a living playing. Untill then i have to earn money in another way…


        Reply
  7. chad

    i’ve gone out of my way to be able to play Freebird in chord melody and the first verse and chorus just so i can shut people up by making them laugh instead of give the defacto burnout response that most musicians would give


    Reply
    1. Paul Resnikoff

      Ha, yeah I’ll drop a dubstep Freebird remix at ear-splitting volumes.


      Reply
  8. Sonny

    #666: “Oh! You play the sax! I LOVE the sax!!! I have all of Kenny G’s albums!”

    :P


    Reply
    1. Paul Resnikoff

      I was also President of the United States in the 90s. Thank you so much for your support of not only my musicianship, but those of all Americans.


      Reply
      1. Sammy

        That’s funny! I’m a sax player too and I get the Kenny G a lot. It’s really anoying…


        Reply
  9. Anonymous

    Any time someone asks for free bird I go into simple man and that ends it.


    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      haha the group I play with does the same thing


      Reply
  10. Jim

    #12 is wrong – it stopped being funny in eighty seven!


    Reply
    1. Erik P

      I was just about to say…’97? It stopped being funny WAY before then. But a great list nonetheless.


      Reply
  11. Peter

    If you aren’t willing to answer any question a fan asks without a snobby attitude, and you don’t have a ton of money or deep connections, then you’re probably not going to make the cut anyway.


    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      Bingo!!!


      Reply
    2. bobo

      You mean aside from the past 15 years? lol


      Reply
  12. Michele Ari

    “I will slap you.” Ha.


    Reply
  13. Stefan des Lauriers

    “That Martin guitar case looks like a phallic symbol, do you mind if
    I sit on your phallic symbol?”

    “How would you like it if someone sat on your pathetic fallacy?”


    Reply
  14. Simon Kemp

    In the UK, the conversation goes like this:
    “So what do you do?”
    “I’m a musician”
    “Oh, are you in a Band?”
    “No, I’m not”
    ……silence……………


    Reply
    1. Benny Katz

      In classical music – I am a pianist:
      “So, you’re a musician. Where do you play?”
      “Everywhere and nowhere. Solo, chamber, teaching.”
      “So you don’ t play in any band?”
      “No’”
      “Or in an orchestra?”
      “No”
      “Or in some particular place?”
      “No”
      “You teach little kids?”
      “Yes”
      “How can you like it? Do you still like it?!”


      Reply
      1. Cathy

        I’m horrible with math, but I’d say that you are doing a great thing. Without music, we’d be or we’d more likely not be.


        Reply
  15. JL

    Point 6! Finally, someone that agrees with me!


    Reply
  16. FitzNicely

    “Are you in a band?”
    “No, I play with myself.”


    Reply
  17. Envious

    #13: You are lucky to have a consuming passion and enough talent to spend your life doing what you love, so why do you have such a massive chip on your shoulder?


    Reply
    1. CasperM

      Indeed. Esp #6. My karaoke is better than 2/3rds of the D’bags I see gigging around here. I just wanted to earn an actual living, so here we are.


      Reply
  18. Brian

    ‘Freebird? What song is it that you want to hear? here my friend is a Freebird for you.” And I give them the bird, you know the finger. It happens so much as a street musician that I forget to explain the joke and I just flip them off and they looked shocked. Love the song though, I’ll play it over Sweet Home Alabama anyday.


    Reply
  19. Doug

    I’ve heard every one of these several times. Very accurate list. Though you’re missing “You guys should play…” We’re not a jukebox, bro.


    Reply
    1. Hammer2112

      Yes! Definitely should be on the list! Someone told me about 20 years ago that we really neede d to play the theme from “Friends” on a break during a gig. I laughed, they got angry! Really thought they was cracking a joke!


      Reply
    2. Loujudson

      I’m a sound guy and a professional. Once during a soundcheck with a national female singer/songwriter/pianist, I mused, wow, you could make Joni Mitchells’ River sound really great!. She said I don’t know that one.

      AFTER soundcheck she went to the green room and found it onine and learned it, and sang it for me that night! Hardly a dry eye in the room and she got a standing ovation. Being right after Christmas with a sold out house made it very memorable.

      So, sometimes it is okay to make a request, is all I wanted to say. This gal normally takes audience requests in her shows.


      Reply
  20. Anonymous

    Really more like 12 things a musician should get used to hearing….

    It’s the train that’s never late, and never will be.


    Reply
  21. Avis

    #3 for dancers ….you should be on “So you think you can dance”….bcuz no one was ever famous before those shows existed.


    Reply
  22. Andrew B.+White

    I take issue with point #2.
    No, you don’t actually “sound like you”. Not exactly – you sound like you but in the vein of/genre/style of (________).

    I don’t know why people get bent out of shape with musical references of comparisons. There is very little ‘truly’ original music out there – even the most obscure is arguably derivative of something.

    How many press releases have you read where band says “we sound like ono-one else”, “we have an original take on…”, “truly unique”, “one of a kind”…. etc etc.

    Get over it – you have guitars and drums/you make electronic music/you play violin – whatever. You’ll sound like someone.

    It’s not a criticism, its an observation.


    Reply
    1. Paul Resnikoff

      There’s a lot of truth to this, in fact, it’s the very essence of music itself. Music, by it’s nature borrows (er… steals) from itself, which makes copyright such a difficult and complicated concept. But every artist has multiple influences, and no one creates in a vacuum.


      Reply
    2. Luke

      When someone says they hear a band I like in my playing, or says I got x_style from your stuff, I’m pleased, it shows they were listening enough.

      I had a crowd of people who have never seen me before yell the name of a band that got me started on learning the styles that I now write a lot of stuff in, that is a huge compliment.

      For the most part this doesn’t happen, but that’s a neutral thing.

      Not really disputing the rest of this copypasta of a clickbait site though.


      Reply
  23. hippydog

    Speaking of being burned out ;-)


    Reply
  24. Bob

    For the most part people are just trying to relate in whatever way they can. If you get the underlying intention there can be a nice connection, which is all you want. Complaining gets you sympathy from other complainers but further from your goals. In addition to the above people tell me about their guitars, that they used to play in high school, great concerts they saw, or general opinions about music or musicians. Sometime they want me to put music to their poetry or get together and jam. It’s all the same, they just want to connect with the art and the artist. I try to encourage them unless they’re drunk. Being a musician you can’t realistically expect to avoid things like this. It’s best to learn to handle each situation with grace and professionalism. Not complicated. Be nice. Make music. Focus on goals. Good day!


    Reply
    1. Renee

      Best comment in the bunch! People are just trying to relate. Being a vocalist, I’ve heard variations of The Voice or Idol comments many, many times:

      “Have you ever thought about trying out for The Voice?”
      “Oooh, I was just telling my neighbor the other day, she would do so well on Idol!”

      It’s a compliment. People think you’re good, they think you’re better than all the other contestants they usually see, so why wouldn’t you try out?

      People also don’t understand why I’m primarily focusing on songwriting at this point in my career when “you have such a great voice though!”

      Many folks just don’t understand much about the music industry because the only thing that’s familiar to them are the songs they hear on the radio and the big name acts. I was trying to explain the success of a local indie artist to my dad – their million Twitter followers, their U.S. tour and sold out shows – but he didn’t get it because he hadn’t heard of this person and it wasn’t in the context of the big name acts he hears on the radio. Not to mention all the band members, studio musicians, songwriters, etc. If people don’t hear you on the radio, you haven’t “made it.” It’s really the same as if I were to try to engage in a conversation with someone whose profession I knew little about. My questions would seem silly and obnoxious, but I’m just trying to relate. Musicians really do seem to have a snarky attitude when it comes to this stuff. It is HARD to make a living at this, so if you are, just be happy and kind and entertain the obnoxious questions with a smile.


      Reply
      1. bassman

        That’s good advice


        Reply
      2. Tmwalkerm

        I think one of the reasons why professional musicians get so aggravated about people suggesting they go on Idol or the Voice, is because those shows mock all the years, crappy gigs, long hours in a tour bus, rejection, etc. that struggling musicians experience every day. Someone wins these shows, and gets a record deal, a headlining tour, and supposed “fame”, simply because they won a tv show. Musicians who are out there 300 days a year, busting their asses trying to get record deals, finance an album, and for some Joe off the street to walk in, win a tv show, and get all that success, it’s insulting. Why should THEY get the record deal and not the person who’s been gigging since they were a kid, starving, getting rejected by record execs? Sure some of the show winners are very successful, I’m not denying that at all, but how many of them actually MAKE it in the industry long term? Winning a contest does not, nor should not, guarantee success.


        Reply
    2. Diamond Lou

      Well said bob. You right on the money. We all work in the service industry , our job is to reach people in a spiritual way. In their hearts, soul , mind,and bodies. We attempt to touch each individual in a special way with our music. Be it cover or original. And good communication can do nothing but further your career. Let the audience connect with the band or individual. Our band always does a meet and greet after the gig. And doing so has created a large following. People like to feel a connection , and that their support is really appreciated.


      Reply
  25. Brad

    The next time someone shouts ‘Freebird, flip them off, and tell them you’ll need to charge them for the next one…


    Reply
  26. Norm

    For the Freebird hecklers, I announce over the mic for them to “Stop Advertising!!!”


    Reply
  27. Richard Allen

    #1 Why is it most musicians dont even have their name.com registered? It SCREAMS at me it’s still just a hobby

    #2 Why do you have such crappy iphone videos, you must know someone who can record you properly without distortion or from the back of the room…..comp them and buy them a drink or two give them your cd….nothing more i hate is bad audio…makes it look like its still just a hobby to you

    #3 And this is so important dont post the same song done at 5 different locations… It maybe your best song but you only want 1 version to get the most hits.


    Reply
    1. Guitar Lizard

      Good points Richard. We use mostly FB, because the website didn’t get any hits. By just doing that we increased our reach exponentially. Got to have an on-line footprint of some kind.


      Reply
      1. Richard Allen

        Yes but still people associate your name.com as professional and for a few six packs a year Just like people still associate Terrestrial radio with making it.


        Reply
        1. Timothy Adam Perrino

          Personally, I haven’t gone to a band.com page since ’97.


          Reply
  28. HitMaker

    14. Don’t quit your day job!


    Reply
    1. mdti

      - me: I have to finish a few tracks
      - thoughtless musician : ” hey, you have to stop finishing them and release them” (says fellow musicians)
      - me ” it is not because you don’t know when your track are finished that I have to stop polishing mine, noob”.

      or
      - “nice track, you should actually produce it”

      or even

      - ” you are a electronic music composer ? hey here is a guitar play us some tunes” (there is little way to escape from this ;-) )


      Reply
      1. mdti

        Sorry, I didn’t meant that as a reply to the previous post.


        Reply
  29. Willis

    It also will help the musician if they can laugh off any of the things listed, because they do happen.


    Reply
  30. PP Shivaknen

    HAHAHAHA!! That’s TRUE!! I agree!! ;-)


    Reply
  31. Anonymous

    I just play a reggae version of freebird, shuts em up, and I enjoy the puzzled looks while they try to figure what song I’m playing


    Reply
  32. Dan

    FREEBIRD!!
    *launches into Slayer’s Reign in Blood*
    That usually gets a chuckle, because if someone isn’t yelling “FREEBIRD!” its probably “SLAYER!!” instead.


    Reply
  33. Linnie

    Haha. I’ve been offered guest list. But declined BECAUSE I WANTED TO INVEST in musicians. Still not entitled to shit.


    Reply
  34. JP

    The list for female musicians is all together different. For instance, when is the last time a dude heard “You guys are really great for an all guy band.” or “Hey l’il fella, you need some help with that gear?”. The truth is, all jobs have gripes. I decided long ago that if I was to have a career as a musician, that I would have to suck it up and deal. To piggy-back on what Bob said, most people are not trying to be jerks. They are just trying to find a way to connect with you. It’s been a lot easier to get people to like my music when they like me. Smile and be nice. It’s good business.


    Reply
    1. drummergirl

      Bothers me the difference in how we as female musicians are treated. Occasionally it’s nice to have a hand bringing in my drums, lets be honest, but for my singer to be asked by the sound guy, “Do a need to mic all her drums? I mean, does she actually use them all??”… Would they ask a guy that in the same scenario? Or, skip to a meet and greet for an event, introducing myself to some musician I haven’t yet met, and i either get the, “Hey baby” attitude followed by eye rolling when they find out I’m a drummer (in an all girl band?? Uh…NO.), or their drummer gets elbowed and told, “Hey…you get to play after her…(giggle)”. Luckily it’s not so bad AFTER i play, because at this point i earn my “street cred”, but it seems to be so much more difficult and irritating for a female in a male dominated field such as this…NOT that I’m ANYTHING but grateful for each and every time i get to play…”great exposure” fig or paid. It’s all worth every second!


      Reply
  35. larrytheliz

    Hey! Someone actually talked to me. You want to hear “Stairway to Heaven” ? Go F yourself…there is no such thing.


    Reply
  36. EmmCee

    the last time someone yelled “Freebird”, our band actually played it… the 20+ minute version with all of the wailing guitar solos… it was awesome- but nobody ever did it again to us hahaha


    Reply
    1. Hammer2112

      YES! And that is exactly how to deal with that!!! Unless its just the one drunk village idiot, then you may want to quickly poll the audience … Personally, I love playing it. Just not so sure most folks want to hear it that is of course unless your band falls I to the Southern Rock or Biker Band genres.


      Reply
  37. GGG

    Sorry, I see enough terrible to mediocre shows here in NYC that number 1 is often a very valid question…

    Just because you dress like Janis Joplin or Joey Ramone and call yourself an artist doesn’t mean you are one.


    Reply
  38. Lyn

    You should be in Nashville


    Reply
  39. sucki tup

    Ari, you sound like an insecure crybaby in need of constant ego-stroking, who thinks his status as a professional musician makes him superior to office workers and plumbers. I’m sorry, I meant you sound like YOU and it’s awesome! …Happy now?


    Reply
  40. Marc

    Whenever someone says “Play Freebird!” Turn to them and say, I don’t play Freebird, but I can give you the best sound Lynyrd Skynyrd ever made. And then, imitate an airplane crashing.


    Reply
  41. Dandoo

    Number 9 was the bane of my existence in high school. Ignorant teachers and counselors liked comparing being a musician to a professional athlete.


    Reply
  42. Rev. Todd Baker

    #13) “Well, I wouldn’t compare your bank account to Don Henley’s or anything, but I think you are doing ok.”

    My exact words to Warren Zevon in 1995


    Reply
  43. Nathan Granner

    A lot of these items were written a decade ago, excepting the Americn Idol and Voice references. Do they still hold true? Freebird? I’ll wager “Playyy Freeebird” is heard less often and probably five in ten have actually HEARD Freeebird all the way through, just due to attrition of fan bases.

    You know, if you tell a joke a thousand times to the same people, it becomes funny, ultimately because of the obligatory way one tells it.

    At any rate since you know the setup, why not think of some good quips as repartee that don’t make one sound like they are “mad that someone isn’t taking my music seriously.”

    It used to be that when someone came up to me and said “I love Andrea Bocelli,” I would get rather irate or when a fan comes up and says they love opera, meaning PHANTOM of the Opera, I would under my breath and inwardly claw my face. But now people don’t say that so much any more. Time has made those comments obsolete, and when people do say that these days…

    I just say “oh yes, quite phenomenal, they are a true inspiration” or something to that effect. These people are sharing their joy to me. If I puke all over it, it just ruins everybodys’ day and I lose a fan from being a douchey musician. I don’t have to tell them that what has driven a good part of my career is my fight to popularize real opera, really good singers and musicians by the dismantling of the corporate structure through making myself so powerful in the business that I control the eyes and ears of the A&R and make whatever I’m working for so much money that they’d HAVE TO see it my way because then they would understand how much Boccelli didn’t necessarily suck, but that he was positioned wrong as the next Pavarotti…

    As opposed to telling them that I already signed to a major label and had a giant million dollar show built around me, I tell them I DID in fact audition for XFactor and The Voice, but didn’t make it on the show. I invite them to the next performance.

    I truly love it when people who have been my friend for a
    little while or have been to see some performances
    I’ve been in come up to me and say that they had no idea that I was a star. I’m like, “yeah, I’ve done some stuff.” Or they intro me to their friends and they have to go through the awkwardness of trying to explain my work in five seconds. “He’s like…um… The best Ever’” is a particularly nice intro.

    I love my fans. And that they care to compare me to anything they love is great. I continue to do what I do and EVENTUALLY they just get it.

    They get that it is a life. They get that what I do is lead from the heart just as much as the mind. They get that the reason I’m that not on Idol, or that I’m not another industry clone is because my path is my own path. I get that beauty and so do my fans and they walk on the journey with me. They celebrate and worry at my triumphs and my failures.

    I still bristle from time to time, from people affronting my sensibilities, but at least I know that they are trying to communicate rather than offend.

    Blah blah


    Reply
    1. SouthernFemaleMusician

      Yes. Skynyrd is STILL known, Skynyrd is STILL popular, and we hear “play Freebird” at EVERY gig. My response? “Hey man, the only Skynyrd tune I really know is “Tuesday’s Gone,” but tell you what… write that request down on a fifty dollar bill and stuff it in my tip jar, and we will learn it on the spot. How’s that sound?” … Sometimes, I actually come away with fifty extra bucks in the tip jar. Sometimes, they just say, cool… lwts hear “Tuesday’s Gone”… but I always get a laugh, and we move on with our show.


      Reply
  44. Tyler

    I’m a musician, singing to make a living, and I really don’t find some of these offensive. Yes, some of them are stupid. Other times people are just trying to be nice or try to share in your passion of the arts. We, as a profession, need to get off our high horses.


    Reply
    1. Cameron

      This is the realest post I’ve seen on this long strand of bitching about freebird. Learn the song play what they want to hear they are giving you their time let them enjoy it


      Reply
  45. JMellor

    What an obnoxious list. I’m a musician. I play all the time for people. Yes, they say these things, but most of them are just trying to be nice or take an interest. Not everyone lives and breathes music like we do. Most of these are just some variation of “I think you sound good” (eg. “When am I gonna hear you on the radio?” and “You should try out for American Idol”). Yes, I hate the music those media play, but laypeople like it; they think referencing those things is a big compliment. These suggested responses just come off elitist and dismissive. People love music more than they love plumbing or banking or whatever false analog you used, and they want to be a part of it, so they use what limited knowledge they have to ask questions. I love when people tell me they have ideas for songs. It shows they think about and value what I do.

    I suppose my ultimate point is this: get over yourself. Save your dismissal for the people who are truly condescending (and yes, people who do the “Freebird” joke). No one owes it to you to be an expert.


    Reply
  46. Anonymous

    I am a musician (i am in and original band that for years and still does make no profit at all) I am in a cover band that makes money and profit) the cover band does not need to have a cover charge, people come into the club drink heavily stay the night, Then the club owners make lots of money and they can pay us and everyone is happy. The original band plays clubs that mostly require a cover charge, when we do not play at a place that requires a cover charge, we have lots of people in the audience and go home with cash in our kitty. Look, why should people pay a cover charge to go see and hear music they don’t know and performers who mostly never even try to entertain anyone but themselves. They think dressing grunge standing there wining to what they think is Artistically creative music, so artistic : shoving their music down their friends throats , friends who are kind enough to actually show some type of interest in what you do , now have to pay for suffering and abuse.
    Musicians are funny, they can shit all over pop stars and REAL MUSICIANS (I say real because if you are a Musician as a career and you are paying your bills with your music you are a REAL musician) If you cannot pay your bills and support your family Music is your hobby) I have been doing this crap my entire life. The original band does fantastic when people are not forced to pay a cover charge) also 10 dollars is 2 and or 3 bears. Don’t you think it is better to play for your friend’s while they can enjoy a few bears, after all the music is about making others feel good, aren’t you performing for others or is it all about “YOU”

    Another point:
    Now a days i have seen bands that are in a line up, show up right before their slot and leave right after, what is this crap all about?! You should be showing up early listening to all the bands before and after your slot. If you leave your fans leave, and then the bar/club does not make the money they could possibly make if you and your friends stay the entire night. This is “THE MUSIC SCENE” and all you whiners are ruining it. Why should people show you so called musicians the respect you refuse to show others? Take your wining and your cry-baby rock and re-boot.

    If you stopped wining and made a difference, you would all be making money with your “ORIGINAL” music , supporting your family with your music, appreciating all the people who can do it for a living because we all know how difficult it is. You could all live Happily Every After musician Life’s.
    So here is some advice for all of you youngsters out there, who missed the Fabulous 70′sand 80′s when the “MUSIC SCENE” was a real scene!!!

    1. Business 101: Invest in your business -Startup Money (Most Business’s take at least 5 yrs. to start breaking even and making money)
    - Instead of selling tickets to your show
    Get a good line up together with a few other bands
    Pick a venue Pitch in and pay the room fee
    Splitting it across the board is not much $$ for each person.

    2. Create Tickets: More than the venue can hold:
    Give tickets away, with enthusiasm and tell them this one is on the Bands as gift to their friends and fans! Sell Your Self!! If you cannot sell your own show no-one else will be able to sell IT!!!

    3. Show Night!!!
    Get to the show early set up your stage like a ROCK STAR ROCK CONCERT!!
    Shoot the shit with all the other bands and their members.

    4. The Performance:
    “Dress like ROCK STAR!!!” not a slob!! Don’t close your eyes while u are up there.
    No one wants to look at a slob wining and taking a nap on stage if they say they do they are lying!!
    Perform for the audience not your other band members and not yourself. Make the audience want to be on stage with you!! Make them feel like part of the show!!

    5. after the performance:
    Stick around do not move your gear out, it is rude and it makes people think you are leaving.
    Stay and talk to all the people there at the club, thank anyone and everyone that showed the slightest interest in your music. Thank them for being into it, let them know how much you enjoy that while you are on stage!! Every member should Stay the rest of the night and enjoy.
    Let but not least Tip your bartender, if the bartender makes money and likes you and the Band he will talk up your shows!!!

    Then you will start making money and building a great following.

    End: Take all this in and run with it!! I am sure you will come up with even better ideas when this crap starts working for you. It is the art of giving not music.

    1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician
    I am a musician. Not trying. Trying to be a musician is watching the first YouTube video on how to hold a guitar. Not what I have done for the past 15 years. That is BEING a musician.

    2. You Sound Like…
    I know you’re trying to be nice by putting me in good company, but musicians want to feel original. We don’t want to hear we sound like everyone else. That we’re unoriginal. It’s fine for you to sell your friends on listening to someone new by comparing them to well-known artists, but when talking to a musician, the best compliment is “you sound like YOU and it’s awesome.” Unless you’re talking to a pop producer, then yeah, “it sounds like Katy Perry” is probably the best compliment you could give.

    3. You Should Try Out For American Idol

    Me: When people say that they mean it as a complement you should be grateful that they like you music!

    4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?

    Me: When I get smart enough at business and business relations.

    5. You Should Be On the Voice
    Me: Again thank you for the compliment!!

    6. You Must Love Karaoke
    Me: I love Karaoke I do it as much as I can it helps me learn to connect with an audience in the worst undesirable musical situations. But i love the people and have fun with it!!

    7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?
    Me: Sure why don’t you come up with the band!!! Help us load in and load out!! The guys would love that, maybe we can teach you how to run the lights sometime :-)

    8. What’s Your Real Job?
    I am an aspiring musician, as of now I work fulltime SQA Engineer, until I can get the show on the road.

    9. What’s Your Backup Plan?
    I will never stop playing music it is a part of me, I will probably always have the opportunity to play covers and teach. ( I however did have a backup plan in engineering)

    10. It Will Be Great Exposure
    Me: Yes it will be great exposure!! Thank you so much!!

    11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song
    Thank you You know some of the best songs ever recorded started out as a great idea!!

    12. Free Bird
    Me: The song never died you either know it knows of it!


    Reply
    1. Anonymous II

      So one is only a REAL musician if one is a PROFESSIONAL musician? How condescending and illogical can you be? Just because some “hobbyist” doesn’t make enough money from their performances or the distribution of their ‘music’ doesn’t make them any less of a REAL musician. Granted, securing gigs, contracts, selling albums/singles/merchandise/whatever, dealing with agents & managers, and all the other logistical concerns of the career are all certainly important in the life of a Professional musician. However, musicianship is about far more than monetary compensation and related concerns, and you’re a damned fool if you can’t concede that many musicians, yes even the real ones, have struggled to make ends meet from their passion. You can call them hobbyists all you want, but their financial solvency has no bearing on how ‘good’ or how ‘real’ a musician they are. It reflects more on how well they market themselves, what kind of venue they perform in, what kind of crowd they attract (if any), how popular or in demand their music is, etc. Feel free to disagree, but you have committed a logical fallacy by conflating financial security derived from the performing arts to “real” musicianship.


      Reply
    2. Jeff

      But these days looking like a rock star IS looking like a slob.

      My music–the music I write–is a big part of what gives meaning to my life. I’m very proud of it. I don’t make a living at it–not nearly. Not what the kids really wanna hear, I guess. But that’s not my fault. I’ll thank you to stuff it with the “hobby” talk.


      Reply
    3. Blacky

      Well…all off this cover songs that you are playing was made in a first place by musicians
      that played originals and strugle their way so you can play it later.
      There is nothing wrong with charging 10 dolars for entrance….its not like its incredible amount of money.
      Composers and songwriters are the most important part off music and in todays
      world unfortunatly they dont get soported and recognized.


      Reply
    4. Anonymous

      I’m glad there are 2-3 less bears at the bar! Those things are crazy!


      Reply
      1. petercann

        good comments, ev1 else seems a little uptight, generosity of spirit is not that hard? its like every thing you do, you can have a large ego that drives you to excel yourself, but at the same time you can have humility and generosity in your interactions with other people.


        Reply
  47. Anonymous

    Continued
    1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician
    Me: I have studied music my entire life, however I have not yet made it my principle sourc of income.

    2. You Sound Like…
    Me: Why thank you i ave heard or not heard that one before :-)

    3. You Should Try Out For American Idol

    Me: When people say that they mean it as a complement you should be grateful that they like you music!

    4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?

    Me: When I get smart enough at business and business relations.

    5. You Should Be On the Voice
    Me: Again thank you for the compliment!!

    6. You Must Love Karaoke
    Me: I love Karaoke I do it as much as I can it helps me learn to connect with an audience in the worst undesirable musical situations. But i love the people and have fun with it!!

    7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?
    Me: Sure why don’t you come up with the band!!! Help us load in and load out!! The guys would love that, maybe we can teach you how to run the lights sometime :-)

    8. What’s Your Real Job?
    I am an aspiring musician, as of now I work fulltime SQA Engineer, until I can get the show on the road.

    9. What’s Your Backup Plan?
    I will never stop playing music it is a part of me, I will probably always have the opportunity to play covers and teach. ( I however did have a backup plan in engineering)

    10. It Will Be Great Exposure
    Me: Yes it will be great exposure!! Thank you so much!!

    11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song
    Thank you You know some of the best songs ever recorded started out as a great idea!!

    12. Free Bird
    Me: The song never died you either know it knows of it!


    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      #10 is a loser. Someone below giving advice says thank you. No, the drunks that you have coming to your place are not exposure. They don’t care who’s playing and they won’t remember the next day. Free exposure is good if there is some kind of coverage, but ask yourself why the venue can’t pay.


      Reply
  48. Blag

    You’re not a musician unless you’re being paid.
    True story.


    Reply
  49. Brewster

    I have a better response to #11…
    “Great! When you have the full song written, I’d like to hear you perform it.”


    Reply
  50. Richard

    #12 stopped being funny the first time I heard the out-of-tune string section in the latter part of the song. It started being funny again in the 73rd minute of the single-riff guitar solo.


    Reply
  51. Anon

    Jesus Christ, this guy is so sensitive about his failed music career that he acts like a complete asshole.


    Reply
    1. Paul Resnikoff

      He’s actually a successful musician. But you were saying?


      Reply
  52. Shane Anderson

    If you’re a struggling musician, artist, comedian, performer. Give me a call MusiciansConnection we help you find gigs that will pay and help you become all you can be. 909-213-4894. working on the website still but http://www.MusiciansConnection.net been on both the production and performance side for over 15 years. Contacts and resources nationwide.


    Reply
  53. Joe Chapman

    “I know you’re trying to be nice by putting me in good company, but musicians want to feel original. ”

    You have your head up your own arse.


    Reply
  54. Joe Chapman

    People suggesting that you are not a musician if you don’t get paid are fuckwits.


    Reply
  55. Joe Chapman

    “When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?”

    When I get off my pathetic whining, self righteous, muso arse and do something about it.


    Reply
  56. Anonymous

    Forget “Freebird”…its now “Wagon Wheel!!!!” 3 plus times a night and we play originals… :-)


    Reply
  57. Flavio

    I usually hate these lists, but this one is dead on.


    Reply
  58. bill dedman

    “Are you a musician?” No, I am a drummer….


    Reply
    1. Jyro

      Actually, the gag is: It’s a great band — three musicians and a drummer.


      Reply
  59. FriendsofDanPod

    Those who think that shows like The Voice can’t further your career significantly should listen to my recent interview with Season Three finalist Nicholas David. I also had an interesting conversation with Voice drummer Nate Morton who definitely qualifies as a “musician”. Just search for: friends of dan music podcast dot com


    Reply
  60. Freebird Lover

    Freebird is still a good song. Now, Stormy Monday I could live without for like…forever. Oh, and Mustang Sally, as well.


    Reply
  61. Chuck Hughes

    Funniest post yet! All true.


    Reply
  62. Voice Of Reason

    Sounds like a butthurt hipster who didn’t work hard enough wrote this article. This coming from someone who just got off of a Navy Entertainment 24 day Eastern Europe / Middle East tour.

    This is the kind of attitude that kills me about musicians. Young musicians are self-righteous douchebags who turn their nose up at people trying to be friendly. Yeah, those people have never analyzed a Mahler symphony, or transcribed a Woody Shaw solo. Does that mean you can’t take a compliment from them?

    Anyone who agrees with this article has never had to play music for a dime, much less feed a family on music. People who agree with posts like this need a dose of reality. Get off you Macbooks, turn off your avante garde shitty jazz album that no one cares about, and appreciate a compliment from someone who is actually going to be relatively successful in their career.

    Back to the shed.


    Reply
    1. the voice of reason

      Hey Voice of Reason, it’s me “the voice of reason” I agree with you 100% man…the most arrogant ones are usually the ones with zero talent and experience!

      Good one

      VOR


      Reply
      1. Benny Katz

        Hey, guys, this was actually suppose to be funny, cheer up! These are just couple of insider jokes. Same as f. e. we, music teachers, make fun of mistakes of our pupils who make same mistakes on and on, generation after generation – and we did them, too. No need to be grumpy!


        Reply
  63. Anan

    I completely disagree with number one! Music is your hobby until you can make a living off of it. If you have been doing music or any art for that matter for any amount of time and you are not being paid enough to make a living off of it then you are a hobbyist/enthusiast. Once you cross the threshold into being a professional and you can at the very least pay your bills for en extended amount of time, then you have earned the right to label yourself a musician. There is nothing wrong with aspiring, doing it for a hobby or just having a love for music. But when you label yourself as a musician and you dont have the experience, knowledge or talent you give actual musicians/artist a bad name AND make it harder for us to get work since you are willing to work for nickles and dimes. Earn the title of musician dont expect it to be handed to you just because you love to play music!


    Reply
    1. 4pt

      99% of people, no matter how talented or accomplished they are as artists, writers, poets, musicians etc., will ever make enough to quit their day jobs because there are millions of them out there and only a small few will have the luck, right connections and other factors because the reality is not everyone can have a dream career and make a steady, lucrative income from their art. But your logic is saying the wealthiest and most popular people in music are the best examples of musicians and that one cannot be a musician while also having another job to pay for bills and necessities as well as a means to provide for them to keep creating.

      Also kind of ironic you claim that unless you’re getting paid well, you’re not a musician and it’s your own fault while whining that “real” musicians like you aren’t getting paid properly and assigning blame to the others for why. Unless you’re a convenient exception to your own rule, your logic states that maybe you’re not that good yourself then.


      Reply
      1. 4pt

        Will never make*


        Reply
    2. kilmo doome

      I disagree. If you play at all you’re a musician. If you pay your bills with music then you’re a professional musician. Simple. BTW, I’m a pro musician of almost 39 years. If you’re truly a musician you play for the love of music whether your paid or not because you MUST!


      Reply
  64. Coldstorage

    “Oh wow you should meet my friend he has like a studio in his basement, you should totally record there”


    Reply
  65. CWD

    I’m sorry but there is nothing that you can say to a working musician that they have not heard before – and this life choice is so flipping hard that – if you are offended or put off by any question about your survival or viability — or one of the many millions of suggestions like ‘you ought to go on a TV game show’ — then GET OUT NOW! In order to survive as a musician you need the thick-skin of a rhino and the heart of a gladiator and the stamina of a marathon runner – get a helmet this is not for weekend worriers.


    Reply
  66. DM

    Being rude to audience members who are trying to be supportive (eg. “You should be on the radio” and “You should be on The Voice”)? Really not a great idea. You can dislike some of these comments all you want, but the likely result is that the next time you play, those people won’t be there anymore, and they won’t say nice things about you on the web.

    People don’t have an *obligation* to like you or your music, and sometimes you’re putting your music into their night out even when they didn’t want it. Be appreciative and gracious. It’s your job to make them like you, not their job to like you.

    I was once told that I sounded like Barenaked Ladies. One band whose music I loathe. I grinned and said, “I never thought that, but thanks.”


    Reply
  67. Glow Worm

    The next time somebody writes “The next time someone shouts ‘Freebird, flip them off, and tell them you’ll need to charge them for the next one” flip them off, and tell them you’ll need to charge them for the next one… Kinda like one of them M.C. Escher drawings, ain’t it?


    Reply
  68. Relax

    Loved the list.
    Loved the positive comments.
    Loved the negative comments.

    To much has been said to reply to all of it.

    All I can say is Rock On!
    Cheers!


    Reply
    1. Lame patrol

      Too much to comment on, but this one took the cake.

      Loved it all? Seriously? Right here. This is what is wrong with the musicians of today. Tell everyone what they think they want to hear. Stop trying to please everyone. Get a spine, stop being fake and if you can’t hack it then do some soul searching and figure out how to get a real life.

      I mean, seriously. Who loves all the positive and negative comments that are really offensive? Someone who needs to get real.

      If you are going to make it big, you will only by being a puppet to some corporation wanting you to change who you are and bastardizing anything good that might come out of you. If you love music then play it. If people
      Love you then you’ll know it. If not- you’ll spend years of your life pretending and wishing your good years away. And that’s the lamest thing ever. I’ve seen the piano bar wash ups. The restaurant cover bands and the festival performers who are trying to fake it till they make it. Lame, pathetic and sad.


      Reply
      1. Benny Katz

        I loved it all, too! It’s just like a scene from a Woody Allen movie. In a classical music, there would be just one response: Love it? – Go practise. Hate it? – Go practise. Need to reply? – Go practise. Hungry? – Go practise. Need money? – Go practise.
        As simple as that :-) Seriously guys, you all, who discuss it here so passionately: Go practise.
        :-D


        Reply
  69. Robert

    I usually just say ” I really enjoyed your music, thank you!”. As a musician it is what i appreciate most. When it gets fun and interesting is when someone says something more like, “really nice phrase”, or interesting transition, haven’t heard that before”, something knowledgeable that indicates they not only appreciate they understand. When i hear the same it is fun to offer deep appreciation, it’s real, and that is what matters most. Hell, you might even make a friend, or find someone to play and sing with, which is the best of all.


    Reply
    1. Nicole

      Thank you for making musicians not sound so bitter about people actually being interested or wanting them to succeed.


      Reply
  70. Tim

    All right on!


    Reply
  71. Anonymous

    Fuck musicians.


    Reply
  72. drhill

    yeah – van gogh did not make a living from his paintings so he wasn’t really an artist right?


    Reply
    1. herpaderp

      Duh. At his time he was probably considered a hobbyist or enthusiast by his peers but the fact that his paintings are now sold (expensively) makes him a painter. Being an artist is one thing but a professional is another. You don’t have to get paid to consider yourself an artist but you do have to get paid to be considered a professional. Being a musician is a profession meaning you have to be making money out of it. Be an artist or aspiring musician, but unless you make money off of it, musician you are not.


      Reply
  73. meg

    FREEEBIIIRRDD!


    Reply
  74. PG

    13. You’re a really good DJ!


    Reply
  75. jojo fast

    Its sad that we’re still in the pop era, because I’m damn sure if you would have asked Slayer if they were gonna be on Star Search with Ed Mcmahon in the 80′s…..they probably would have ended you. From the looks of comment section, you can tell who’s a musician (regardless if they’re making money or not) versus the pop music enthusiasts who say we’re assholes for agreeing with this. I can say that most of us want to end this American Idol/pop music/autotune shit for the greater good of humanity. Music is really the only thing that bring us together, but when you try to lump us in that American Idol crap…I’m sure we all probably see red. Artists and music are supposed to take you to another place, provide escapism, not Hello fan….what can I do for you to buy my cd or download my e.p. ? That’s counter-intuitive to what an artist and musician is and until you understand that….shut the fuck up and go listen to Lady Gaga and continue to be brainwashed sheeple.


    Reply
  76. george

    Sex, drug $, rock & roll


    Reply
  77. Anonymous

    seems like musicians are dicks


    Reply
  78. David R

    Sounds like musicians with think skin to me.


    Reply
  79. Audrey

    Something my daughter hears and the quickest way to get her to never sing for you is this, “Oh you, sing, Can you sing me something right here (in the mall, on the beach, at the grocery store)? ” She hates that.


    Reply
  80. Andy

    I’ve heard too many musicians take this attitude, and you know what? It is always a mistake. People are trying to start a conversation with you, so talk to them like a regular person instead of acting like you’re better than everyone and everything. There’s a perfectly nice person who likes your music talking to you who might even be a good connection for you, and somehow you think it’s God punishing you.


    Reply
  81. Scott

    Kill your idols. Most famous musicians, artists can sense it when you are star struck. Treat them like you would treat all the nerds, and people you’ve never liked in Middle, High School, because that’s who these famous musicians are, the people you’ve never liked in High School, people you’ve never ever brought into your group of friends. So why are gonna treat them good now, ask them questions, and act like you truly genuinely would like to know these people?


    Reply
  82. Michelle

    The fact of the matter is that we are in the business of entertaining people. Most of us are driven to play music; can’t go a day without playing. But if you put yourself out there for others to hear you, you are now a business. Pay notwithstanding, you are there to entertain the crowd. Even free shows (aka “great exposure) pay a dividend down the line. I have played benefits for free before that let to well paying shows… “Hey! I saw your band at so and so’s benefit last month, ya’ll kicked ass! I would love to have ya’ll come play my venue/wedding/bbq/whatever….” That being said, if my job is to entertain, and I insult someone who came to that venue to hear me, well.. that is just bad business. Someone may say something I personally find offensive, but if I am snarky and rude, I just lost a customer (fan). Enough coustomers drop off, and the venue doesnt make any money, and then I dont make any money, and I am invited to not return to said venue. Being rude to the fans is essentially cutting your own throat. Smile, nod, be polite. Say thank you for supporting me. Say thank you for supporting live music. These folks are your lifeblood. Without fans, you are gonna be hiding in your parents basement playing Freebird till your fingers bleed, all by your damn self. I am not in this business to get rich. Lord knows that my day job is what keeps me afloat. Call me a hobbiest, or whatever. I really don’t gaf. I play because I am passionate about the music, and it brings me great joy to see complete strangers digging what I’m doing up on that stage. Thats my two cents. It don’t count for shit, but there it is.


    Reply
    1. kramer

      Fuck yea dude. I like your two cents.


      Reply
  83. Sxip Shirey

    Trust me it stopped being funny loooooong before ’97.


    Reply
  84. Andrafn

    They are no one special. I say what I want to whomever I choose.


    Reply
  85. Diva_nj

    How about….
    During a choral rehearsal..something like

    Singers call is at 6:30..Musicians (orchestra) arrive at 7. Arent the singers musicians as well?


    Reply
  86. David

    Everything that’s wrong with this list from a professional musician.

    First, snarky musicians give musicians a bad reputation. Stop it. Seriously.

    #1 – A valid question. Unless you’ve achieved your maximum potential, everyone in the field is “trying to be a musician”
    If it’ll keep you from whining about your bruised ego, consider changing it to “trying to be a better musician”

    #2 – Music is derivative. Period. Teachers influence their students and each other. Our idols influence us. Our influences help us determine our stylistic choices, compositional devices, and target demographics. Even if the person is incorrect about who you sound like, the notion that “musicians want to feel original” is childish and snobby. Even something as novel and radical as The Second Viennese School was built on music that was comprised of the same developmental techniques that Bach used way back in the Baroque Period.

    #3, #4, #5 – Each of these are called “compliments”, you asshole. The non-musician thinks you’re good enough to make music on a mass media platform. Say “thank you”, smile, and move on.

    #6 – Karaoke is fun, sometimes non-musicians surprise you.

    #7 – In that person’s defense, most beer is better than most music.

    #8 – Trivializing other people’s work is not a good way to make music seem more profound.

    #9 – Lots and lots of people fail at music. Its realistic to have a backup plan. “What’s yours” is a snarky, useless response.

    #10 – A perfect example on how not to negotiate. Well done. Also, pay and value are different. Instead of getting bitchy about the use of the word “exposure”, you should consider weighing the financial state of the crowd against your ability to fish for opportunity. Saying “no thanks” because the gig may or may not pay directly is close-minded and you’ve given any potential opportunity away. Well done.

    #11 – Without going over your tragic lapse in logic that can be found in your use of a false comparison, I’d just like to point out that you, as a musician, have the ability to empower people with expression and you never know who has something profound to say.

    #12 – You’d be surprised at how often this is a legitimate request and you’d also be surprised at how much more you’d make in tips when you actually play it.

    This is one of the single worst articles about/for/by a musician that I have ever seen. It’s cringe-worthy and embarrassing. It proliferates the stereotype that musicians feel entitled, musicians are snobs, and that musicians are self-important. Our job is not to convince others of the legitimacy of our craft through hostile argument, but rather, through the integrity and quality of our work. We must do a better job of helping others take an interest and become more musical. An easy way to never be taken seriously is to take any of this article’s advice.


    Reply
  87. Kaby J Gilley

    None of these should be considered as having a “chip on your shoulder”. It’s not that we don’t get the fact that the lamen doesn’t understand 90% of how music works, because we do… It’s the fact that it gets fucking annoying when someone writes you off completely because you don’t fit into some weird little box of what they consider to be a professional musician. That’s what the lamen wants to do in general though. Having a specific place to put people helps them function, because the lamen doesn’t want to have to think about much. So it is what it is.

    The easiest example to use – I’m sure a doctor would be thoroughly annoyed if people were constantly making ignorant/repetitive comments or inquiries regarding their careers (which I’m sure they do) “Hey! Take a look at this. What’s this mole on my back?”


    Reply
  88. mike

    how about, “my son’s a musician! You guys should get together.”


    Reply
  89. ComaAlpha

    I love number 8. Nothing’s better than a Mike Judge reference.


    Reply
  90. mdti

    Also:

    #1589 “- Hey cool track, you should send this song to Universal Music and make loads of money”

    also:

    - I have to finish a few tracks for the EP/LP
    # 1590 ” hey, you have to stop finishing them and release them you know” (says fellow musicians)
    - ” it is not because you don’t know when your track are finished that I have to stop polishing mine, noob”.

    or even

    - ” you are an electronic music composer ? hey here is a guitar play us some tunes” (there is little way to escape from this ;-) )


    Reply
  91. Robert

    How about “I’m not even going to consider paying just a few paltry bucks for all your years of training and hard work, not because I don’t like and enjoy what you are providing for me, and yes, I’m still going to download a copy of it and come see you play live, but because of some weird cultural perceptions about what artists provide and why they do it, combined with some callow pseudo-intellectualized rhetoric about “copyright law” and “digital rights” (and the usual ‘but record labels are BAD!’ red herrings), I’ve decided I can just take it from you for free and you’re a pompous self-entitled dinosaur relic if you want to actually eat and pay your rent this month.”


    Reply
  92. Amanda

    I get that these are offensive, but there was no reason for the TPS report comment, which is also offensive. >:( Sorry not everyone wants to chase the music bus. Some people just like numbers, and are better suited for those jobs. Also EVERYONE should have a backup plan whether they are a musician or an accountant or a damn CEO. You never know when an entire industry can fall. I would never say these comments to a musician, but a musician shouldn’t say someone else’s job isn’t REAL either.


    Reply
    1. mdti

      You are so right, but that’s also a matter of choice. I am happy I made the choice to pursue studies, at a time when internet didn’t even exist. In the current qstate of the industry, I tend to think it was the right choice for me.
      It NEVER stopped me from doing music, improving, and getting deals ocasionally (and that were not small ones).

      On the other side, one may choose to dedicate his life to music because it is when you do it full time, you get better faster. Having only that can cause a rage that is productive.

      I have a few friends who are signed with majors, and eventhough a first LP got very nice reviews, the second one didn’t work. what to do now? other people signed but never released anything. It is so disapointing, and as you grow, you see other people evolve but not you, and it is very very difficult. Hopefully, some make it, but the majority, not.

      As someone I respect a lot says: “”art is something that you do for yourself: it must become professional IF and only IF someone asks you to become professional””” and ensures that you can live long with it. Otherwise, don’t think to go professional before anyone asked you, but continue doing your art. This person is a designer with 40 years experience in design for all the big luxury brands and whose company employed 40 persons at some point. I would trust her more than anyone else.


      Reply
  93. mikester

    Pretty dull witted stuff, pretty much a rehash of ancient musician bitching.


    Reply
  94. RS

    If your skin is thin enough to be bothered by anything on this list, you are in the wrong business.


    Reply
  95. Michael

    I guess I can understand the impatience and frustration with the same lame comments and questions from less musically talented members of the listening public. I get it. But I hope that list is really what you feel like saying, and not what you actually say to people.

    If you can make a living playing music or singing [VERY unlikely for anyone] then you should consider yourself very lucky and blessed. Try to be humble and not snarky. If you still want to cop a negative attitude, work for a year or two hanging sheetrock and painting houses. That experience should convince you that you are very fortunate to have some musical talent to share with others. Playing and composing music and writing songs is pure joy for me, even though I will probably never make a cent off it. It fact, it has cost me a lot of money over the last 45 years or so. But I still believe that music is truly magic.

    I am in no position to suggest anything to you–you have your own talent and your own path. But if I may give some advice, humbly and sincerely, it would be to rediscover the pleasure and joy that initially compelled you into music. Rediscover that, and be happy in your talent as you share it with others.


    Reply
  96. timmy

    11. So…what’s your real job


    Reply
  97. DAn

    1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician

    Until you have made a living from making music you ARE trying to be a musician

    2. You Sound Like…

    Well you normally do sound like someone else – if you can’t see it for yourself then you are even more stupid than I gave you credit for

    3. You Should Try Out For American Idol

    You should – because then you will find out really quickly in public if you are appreciated by an audience

    4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?

    When you make something that radio will vaguely be interested in

    5. You Should Be On The Voice

    Again you will find out really quickly if you have a chance with the general public

    6. You Must Love Karaoke

    I.E. practice some more because your vocals are terrible

    7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?

    Hell yes mate – If you want me to aid your career you damn well better put me on your list – what if my plus one is the A&R guy you desperately want to sign to?

    8. What’s Your Real Job?

    If you don’t earn your complete living from music what IS your real job?

    9. What’s Your Backup Plan

    I.E you better have one as you will not succeed in this business

    10. It Will Be Great Exposure

    Yes it will if the audience is the right one

    11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song

    I have lots and I know more about the music business than you – take it as compliment that I share the fact that I can’t write a song but have an idea – steal it if its a good one

    12. Free Bird

    hey big bird


    Reply
    1. mdti

      There are semi-pros too :-) that can make $ with music, but who don’t count on it for everyday’s life. It’s a philosophy. not everyone would be happy to be signed and be worlwide famous and all that crap :-D


      Reply
  98. Greg Iskat

    Correction on #12
    IT NEVER WAS FUNNY!
    I wish that people could understand that yelling “Freebird” instantly makes everyone in the band want to punch you in the face.


    Reply
  99. Thomasina

    Thank you for this. My hubby and I r both entertainers and we both have heard every single one of these. Hilarious!!


    Reply
  100. Anonymous

    This is hilarious! Enough said……


    Reply
  101. Anonymous

    This is so perfect! Hilarious! Next……….


    Reply
  102. Anonymous

    Get over it. You might get further in your career if you’re more understanding and patient with people. They might actually like your music better.


    Reply
  103. Christine

    The person who made this article is a pompous ass. Half the listed items are JOKES and if you can’t take a joke because your narcissistic ideals of musicianship cloud your ability to understand that, then maybe you need to step back and take some time to reflect on your dreams and what music means to you. If it’s making you this uptight, you need time to chill.

    The most disgusting part is #10 when you responded with “does it pay?” ohhh so you’re in it for the money? i see. then you are not an artist, if that’s how you see it.

    i am a musician too. and this article is gross. i can’t believe this kind of shit gets popular


    Reply
    1. mdti

      >>> The most disgusting part is #10 when you responded with “does it pay?” ohhh so you’re in it for the money? i see. then you are not an artist

      Perhaps he is a designe , lol

      More seriously: if someone is making money out your work and you get nothing, that’s just not acceptable, EVEN (or “especially because?”) when you are not in for the money, because the other party is, and uses you for free.


      Reply
  104. Jeff

    I would also like to add concerning talking to all artists or about them – don’t use the term “Artsy Fartsy”…how would you like the thing you’ve devoted years of development toward and are currently in the throes of an agonizing childbirth, to be compared to Farts? For example: “They worked their asses off to put him through college and now he’s got one of those MBA-Fartay degrees”…”Yeah, not only did she graduate, she’s already opened her own dentist-poopentist office”.

    And “Artsy” is just a shortened version of what we know should come next. What should I say instead? “That neighborhood is very artistic”…”All her friends are very artistic”…”She’s devoted her life to the arts”.


    Reply
  105. RayRay

    Very interesting read. So many opinions. Everyone has one. That’s good. I was on a flight across the aisle from a Symphony conductor. I recognized him and spoke to him. It was pretty easy to meet him as he was reading a score. I interrupted him with a question about the score. I had met him before but didn’t expect him to remember. We talked for a while. He told me how wonderful he thought it was to have music in your life, and went on to say what a lousy profession it made for the majority. He verified my own research that only the top 5% make the career pay off well; another 15% make a good living. For most it is a continuous financial struggle. Most musicians I have knowledge of do not know how to run their talent/career like a business. Moreover, they find it revolting to think they should. Life is full of choices. Choices have consequences. Our choices/decisions are only as good as the information upon which they are based. Musicians, aspiring or otherwise, should become well – informed about their art/trade/career to be enabled to increase one’s success potential. Talent is not enough. An insatiable love for music is not enough. Having music in your life is wonderful. Being a responsible steward of your talent is priceless.


    Reply
  106. Marc

    I’m a musician and I read this list and had a laugh because I’ve heard all this stuff many times. I can’t see myself as being on a high horse for getting a laugh out of this. It’s not like I’m rude to people that say this stuff, even when it’s gotten a little old. The list is meant to humor us. Make us laugh about it. But there’s a lot of people that are getting pissy about it, and I have to say it seems to me that THEY are the ones on a high horse. Don’t take lists on the internet so seriously.


    Reply
  107. Tina

    Or, if you are a woman: oh, you’re the singer (or dancer)? Or : are you his (girlfriend, wife?) My reply no, I’m fing them all.


    Reply
  108. Blahblahblah

    Christ, I’m shocked that this lame piece got so many replies. Enough with the lists of things not to say on stage, say to the soundman, etc. Not funny. Not news.


    Reply
  109. Blahblahblah

    This worthless piece should be titled “12 Things You Should Never Say To An Unsuccessful Musician”. They’re the ones most likely to be this bitter and defensive.


    Reply
  110. Nah

    Everything except #1, #4, and #10 come off incredibly insecure.

    Of course you sound like someone else, all musicians have influences, and those influences are buried somewhere in your music. Musicians nowadays are so self-conscious about comparisons because of the legal issues that have been built into the business, but composers used to intentionally quote each other. How well you blend your influences into something unique and contribute something out of that to the long conversation that is music history is what separates derivative leaches from original geniuses.


    Reply
  111. GarronT

    Too bad that the folks that need this advise have no idea this article/site exists…: )


    Reply
  112. SomeDude

    If you are a professional musician, you will get this post, and have probably been kicking these same kinda posts before Facebook existed, and had a laugh. If you don’t get this, then you are not a professional musician, and I call bullshit.


    Reply
  113. Daniel

    If your getting paid consistently to pay then that is your real job but if your only playing two maybe three shows a month then you need a real job and a back up plan! Stop mooching off people and don’t think your the shit cause the shit is on the radio so what does that make you?

    I played for Saving Abel and Ingram Hill. This is from experience.


    Reply
  114. Jerk

    Everything is bullshit and more. You, me, everyone else. This is all bullshit.
    Just make your god damn music and stop whining.


    Reply
  115. Ooga

    One of the questions that peeves me is: “What style of music do you write?”

    Pigeon-holing…can’t stand it.


    Reply
    1. mdti

      You can miss huge and unique opportunities with this attitude.

      You know, some producers, or business makers, just don’t want you to know they are producers, until they have evaluate you enough to be sure they would be happy to work with you.
      Of course, it does not matter if you are not that serious about the style of music that you write.


      Reply
  116. Ryan Kennemur

    I actually don’t mind when people say I sound like someone I admire. I don’t need to pretend I’m original so much that I can’t acknowledge my influences.


    Reply
  117. Alexandra

    For those who aren’t musicians, you just don’t know….we invest hundreds, if not thousands, of hours, thousands of dollars…we play sick, we play with broken bones, we get our equipment trashed by drunks, we’re insulted, underpaid and under appreciated, period! I challenge any of you upwardly mobile professionals who think you know what it’s all about to walk in our shoes. No, you don’t have to come and listen to us. If you have that attitude, we’d rather you didn’t. My band has a time investment of 40 hours for every gig we play, between load and unload, set-up, tear down and playing. We obviously do it because we’re passionate about it and not for the money, because obviously the $50 a night we each make isn’t enough…and I bet none of you whiners would work 8 hours AND supply all the gear for a measly $50. There’s nothing pompous or arrogant about wanting respect for what we do.


    Reply
    1. mdti

      Please don’t end up killing some stage climber ! :-)


      Reply
    2. Blahblahblah

      I worked in the music biz in NYC for a long time and I thought it was pretty sad to see so many unexceptional singer/songwriters and bands playing whatever venue in the city would have them for years and never getting anywhere. Most actually lose money playing a gig. The majority of musicians out there have nothing unique to offer and have no clue that this is the case. Why do musicians think that they deserve respect for wanting people to look at them up on a stage a think that they’re special? For all I know you’re a cool person and a good musician but I don’t think that it’s one of the most respect-worthy professions out there. A lot of attention-seeking narcissists, in my opinion. But some, very few, are brilliant enough to deserve the adulation. Thank god for them.


      Reply
  118. meee

    fuck all christians,,, that’s all, thank you


    Reply
  119. Anonymous

    When people request Freebird I give them the finger and tell them the next one will have to paid for…


    Reply
  120. Lester

    One of my favourites is….

    Nice playing man. Have you heard [insert a name]? He’s REALLY good!!!


    Reply
  121. retroceder

    that’s true but a bit pretentious though. I’ve been making a living from music for several years but I still feel like trying to learn and I would not blame the radio for being ‘too shitty to deserve me’.


    Reply
  122. shashank

    im sure …some pissed off , idle , good for nothing, bad guitar playing idiot came up with this crap .. while the musicians were busy playing music.


    Reply
  123. John Scott

    you forgot “I CAN MAKE YOU FAMOUS”. – Really? Well then, you should have NO PROBLEM with financing my first CD, to include professional studio musicians, recording studio time, and time for me to sit with the band and just jam, as I will be the one arranging MY copywrited, and protected songs. Actually that will a discussion with my lawyer, who I’m sure you won’t mind sitting down with and signing off on a few binding legal documents about royalties, sales, percentages of “your cut” (after all, once I’m famous thanks to you, I will abide by this legal document and make sure your “original financial investment” is payed back with an additional financial amount agreed upon by you and my attorney, as you’re the one who stuck his/her/their neck out to launch my career), plus a percentage of the CD sales you made possible on the original one CD, and NO percentage of memorabilia sales.
    You don’t own me. You are not my manager. I will retain COMPLETE copywrite control over my music. I’m not signing them over to ANY studio, record label, or other person. You are saying you are 100% confident I’m going to be a big star. And I’m believing you. So “Show me the money.” and lets get started !!!!!!!


    Reply
  124. Johnny Blue

    While I respect Mr. Herstand’s right to voice his opinion, having been a professional musician (my sole means of making a living) for 36 years plus I (respectfully) disagree with most of this article.

    In my humble opinion, it is the people, and how us musicicans make them feel – our jobs are to make them feel something (joy, anger, confusion, enlightment, like getting up and dancing or just feeling groovy sitting there and listening) – that is the main reason that we write and/or play our music. Being a musician affords us the opportunity to meet and interact with every type of person there is.

    It is, again in my opinion, a choice whether one becomes jaded and negative, or remains positive and happy. The latter is much healthier and way less stressful (as well as giving one the power to make others feel the same way).

    I’m in this business to please people, as well as myself, and I’m grateful for every single person that I’ve ever musically interacted with, including both fellow musicians and audiences. They are what it’s all about.

    In my opinion, it is not right to take it out on the people that interact with us, and other than those that are simply negative persons, which I simply choose to politely ignore, I remain positive towards even those that are ignorant, which is not a flaw in most cases.

    Be happy you are afforded the opportunity to play music, to choose it as a profession, and that you have the opportunity to positively affect so many people from all walks of life. It’ll satisfy your soul much better.

    1. So Are You Trying To Be A Musician
    I’ve never been asked this one.

    2. You Sound Like…
    I choose to take this as a compliment on the rare ocassions I’ve heard it. Most times they say I sound like someone that influenced me or that I respect greatly. It’s nice to hear.

    3. You Should Try Out For American Idol
    I’d take this as a compliment too, if I ever heard it, which I never have.

    4. When Am I Going To Hear You On The Radio?
    I simply mention my past radio play, then take the opportunity to point the person to where they can buy my music. Never pass up opportunities.

    5. You Should Be On The Voice
    Same as #3 above.

    6. You Must Love Karaoke
    Never heard this one either but I’d simply point out that I prefer to support live music and then thank the person for their support.

    7. Can I Get On The List? Plus 1?
    We don’t play favorites and if the opportunity to gain new fans presents itself we take advantage.

    8. What’s Your Real Job?
    I explain that I am one of the lucky ones who chose a field in which I can do what I love and make a living at it…….AS a professional musician.

    9. What’s Your Backup Plan
    I explain that barring disability I have no need for one as I am successful in my chosen business (music).

    10. It Will Be Great Exposure
    I carry educational literature with me to hand out when presented with this that explains why anybody working in any field should refuse to promote this practice as it is exploitational and that it hurts the profession as well as the whole community the profession is being practiced in. It only benefits the greedy and the selfish. This applies to any type of artist or other creative type.

    11. I Have A Great Idea For A Song
    I’m always open to collaboration. You never know where the next piece of brilliance may rear it’s head. Again, don’t pass up opportunities.

    12. Free Bird
    We play it if requested, unless we have a fixed set list that can not be altered. We’re there to please the audience and they appreciate it more if we respond to them positively. We even have a Reggae version.


    Reply
  125. Anonymous

    Génial , il y a longtemps que j’aurais dû dire cela à tous ceux qui tuent l’Art
    Je ne veux plus qu’on se moque de moi , oserons t’ils se moquer de Dieu ?
    ils ne connaissent pas sa colère .


    Reply
  126. Diane Newday

    I sing with all my soul , that soul is given my by God .
    And they still laught at me .
    Don’t they fear God?


    Reply
  127. Richard

    Just part of the biz and these are universal, no matter where. I’ve even heard them scream out Freebird in Asia and the Middle East. (I’ve never bothered learning Freebird. maybe someday) But lighten up people, these are just meant as a joke. We love hearing them over and over and over. .


    Reply
  128. tex message (cowboy singin' star)

    EXPOSURE???? people die of exposure!!!!


    Reply
  129. David West

    These pretty much all apply to filmmakers as well. Some of them are probably WORSE for filmmakers. Seriously… Everyone and their damn mother is CONSTANTLY trying to tell you about the awesome movie idea they had. They don’t seem to understand that I already have dozens of my own ideas that I care way more about.

    Oh, and EVERY friend who gets married will try to lasso you into filming their wedding. And if they’re willing to pay at all, it’s a tiny fraction of what would be reasonable.


    Reply
  130. Anonymous

    I’m a dancer.do for fun. I have a lot of friends who play live music venues. I support them. I get up & dance at their venues. I thank musicians for their music! Usually they thank me for dancing! We form a relationship.become friends with many of them. Many of them do have day jobs to help support them. I have a day job,actually overnight,my passion is dancing. My Mom is a pianist. She is a musician!she volunteered for schools for years & at seniors centre.her passion is music. She has sometimes earned pay as an organist or pianist.i sing at karaoke for fun,once did in front of a band.I’m an amateur.. Many good singers at karaoke. Maybe stepping stone for performing professionally for some. Get experience.


    Reply
  131. HwaP

    “I sold out long before you ever even heard my name.”

    - a professional musician to a fan who accused him of selling out


    Reply
  132. Plucker

    “Talent” is defined as; “a natural ability to do something well”. So why do such “talented” people need to practice so long and hard to be a musician? Unless maybe they’re not so “talented” after all.. Hmmm? Being a live entertainer means dealing with the public.., yes, including those people who ask/make what you might consider “stupid” questions, or “dumb” comments. Either learn to understand that, and deal with it in a friendly way, or go work in the studios. Or better still, find another line of work. Being “successful” basically means your audience “likes” you. Why would you think that being an a-hole would make anyone like you?


    Reply
  133. BS

    “Freebird”… that’s a good one so is “Slayer” if you are in a radio rock band!! Like we are going to play that…


    Reply
  134. Anonymous

    sO WHAT’S WRONG WITH FREE BIRD??????


    Reply
  135. Ken

    I don’t understand all the arrogance and intolerance in this post. So you’ve heard these questions a million times, does that mean that they’re stupid? Ignorant maybe, but if so, it ignorance doesn’t deserve the responses you gave. I don’t know a thing about the music business, but I’d label you a giant douchebag if you gave me any of those responses. Maybe that’s what you’re going for, but if so, fuck you. If not, and you’re just trying to get laughs, then why not post it in a place for your friends, not for the public. I really don’t care if this is “true” or not. All I know is that you’re being an arrogant prick. That being said, I hope that you can change whatever is irking you inside and find some peace with your career.


    Reply
  136. BS

    Ken you are right this post does come across as intolerant and even a bit arrogant to people outside of the music business. You illustrate perfectly why the general public will never really understand what its like to be a musician/songwriter, filmmaker, painter etc… these are inside jokes for us to enjoy.

    Most of us are a little jaded by these industries and so have little patience for questions we’ve heard a million times that we think are stupid. Really they are just ignorant. Your point remains valid however, no matter how irritating we find these questions we should still answer them politely one million more times. We tend to paint the general public with the same brush (i.e. don’t support the artist, steal music etc) which simply is not true.

    That said to you did come to a website specifically aimed at artist’s and music execs and get your own feelings hurt!


    Reply
  137. Goddess

    I like FREE BIRD….but I never shout it at bands cause I know they hate that. I’m a singer but I’ve never performed it myself.
    So I listen to it on my phone or ipod. It still rocks after all these years.
    But once in a blue moon….some musician will delight me and play it live – either in public or at small gathering of fellow musicians and I just sit back, smile, and enjoy it.


    Reply
  138. Lupe

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    Reply
  139. Electrotype

    13. “You’re just like David Hasselhoff!”

    I get this when I tell people when something positive happens from Europe (e.g.: a CD sale, inclusion in a European-based podcast, etc.)

    It ceased to be funny the first time I heard it.


    Reply
  140. bluealice

    When did it stop being ’97?


    Reply
  141. auntie

    hm. Being a newbie with just about zero music tuition background, yet I cannot stop the music in me. Me, a total virgin in this industry, NO INFLUENCE at all. I love music and appreciate most, even that which I don’t necessarily like.
    But what amazes me most, and especially in the classical genre (my main field of composing but I can rock it up as well) is the reference to ‘sounds like Bach’ etc etc etc. I feel so sorry for those peeps who are really very original, stamped their style into their own compositions and then someone makes such a remark. Those making such remarks are such high nosed snoots that think its fancy to mention Bach. These snoots really are just wannabe’s.
    Creating your own music is friggin hard work, even more so if you don’t know much about yet about ‘writing’ it.
    People should appreciate each others efforts and whether you like the type of music or not, LISTEN to the stories in it. Even old Beethoven went deaf in his later years, yet he could HEAR.
    I told someone (a Bach fixated fook) once that Bach probably never saw an elephant. I did, I grew up in the southern part of Africa, these things influence my work.
    Really, some peeps just don’t have music ears, they will never ‘hear’ …….
    Everybody that posted here, should study through these comments again, most have the same thing at heart, yet you all fight. The mu industry is hard enough as it is, all the things that are happening which are not benefiting struggling artists… rather should we all become a force coz too many want stuff for free and that includes the ‘parasitism’ (streaming services and their clients) and piracy, etc.
    AND BE KIND TO EACH OTHER


    Reply
  142. Anonymous

    Having done both, I would rather play for free than what is offered by many establishments. When you accept a pittance for your efforts, you are perpetuating more of the same. Oddly, the band I was in that was paid best, was probably the least exceptional lineup I have been in.


    Reply
    1. auntie

      nice you say that, reminds me of good old days in my youth when a few of us music loving peeps join together, drive out into the open with out guitars, and there we’d play for free until far into the night under an audience of happy stars :D
      Music is after all, what we, the creators and artists enjoy, whether others like it or not…..


      Reply
  143. Caroline

    I’m tired of all the blablabla. So shut up and play some good ole fashion American country music. Something I can dance to.:) l ♡ it.


    Reply
  144. SkiFi

    unfortunatelly as a promoter and artist … I have day to day experience with number 7


    Reply
  145. George

    I would say if you’re still answering questions like these from Bozos and getting irritated, you might want to have a backup plan.

    How about realize that lots of non-musicians don’t understand the profession and see a less-than-desirable question as a way to answer them sincerely?

    Get over it. And the end of the day you get money for playing music.


    Reply
  146. Mary Jo Ghantous

    To me the Free Bird sugestion doesn’t sound that bad.


    Reply
  147. ETV Music

    Wow, this is a late reply but I love this. People can totally demean artists without even recognizing it. Some people, sadly enough, do recognize what they’re doing. But this is a great post because it says that musicians have value no matter how famous or underground they are.


    Reply
  148. Sheila MacArthur

    Such negative energy….. unless being negative is suddenly cool or something.


    Reply
  149. Gary Myers

    Most of those have never been said to me, but I’ve never had a prob with anyone saying who I sound like. It’s been a compliment every time but one and it was still intended as a compliment that time – he just didn’t know what he was talking about. It seems to me that anyone who has a prob with that also has a prob with ego. And I don’t know what >> Can I Get On The List? Plus 1? << is about. (I've been gigging for 54 yrs, 20+ of that full time, still average 2-4 gigs/wk).


    Reply
  150. multiplicationproblem

    Freebird is still funny.


    Reply
  151. Jacques Coulardeau

    I love the idea and the practice. Send them to hell!

    My favorite 13 (that comes in mute words at times):
    Since you more or less speak of some gay love, are you gay?
    ANSWER
    Don’t you know it takes a closeted man to ask a question that implies the other is in a closet of his own.
    OR
    Is it comfortable in your padded closet?
    OR
    When did you come out to be able to ask such a question?
    OR
    Would you like some samples of my underwear or my socks?

    I loved the twelve of them

    Jacques


    Reply
  152. *BOOMSIZZLE*

    GOOD deal Right here Big Up’s to all the Music pip’s what ever u do n IT let’s just Keep so LOVE n the MUSIC ok sing a new song for JAH*


    Reply
  153. Jamiah Jordan

    YOU SHOULD SAY. HEYYYY CHECK OUT THIS COVER I DID. SAM SMITH “STAY WITH ME”
    THANKS. #LISTEN and #SUBSCRIBE


    Reply
  154. Brian Sonneman

    OMG! So true! I have lived just about everything brought up on this list! Most with repetition! This list would have been great to have handy so many times through-out my career! I’m sure I could add a few to the overall definition of DONTS!


    Reply
  155. aftiste

    What did you do with all the money your mom gave you for music lessons?


    Reply
  156. murrayhowell2222@gmail.com

    Oh join the human fucking race! Everybody feels that way from time to time. You are special, just like everyone else!


    Reply
  157. woody

    What about ” its good to have a hobby.” I hate that!!


    Reply
  158. LadyDouras

    Ha!! Or if your a vocalist. “Do you play an instrument or are you a Singer?”

    hmmm..

    Oh I don’t know… I figured with all the training and hard work I put into keeping my vocal cords in shape.. that my vocals would be considered an instrument. derp!!


    Reply

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