If you answer ‘YES’ to 7 or more of these questions, then your music probably sucks.
1. Your biggest fans are either friends or relatives.
YES NO
2. People keep remarking that you sound like another, specific band.
YES NO
3. You can distinguish individual claps at your shows.
YES NO
4. You have less than 1,000 Facebook likes.
YES NO
What the Number of Facebook Likes Says About Musicians…
5. You play in more than 3 bands at the same time.
YES NO
6. You make up your own chords.
YES NO
7. No one is stealing your music.
YES NO
8. You have at least one song on Spotify that has never been played once.
YES NO
There Are 4 Million Songs on Spotify That Have Never Been Played Once…
9. You are not sure what ‘mixing’ and ‘mastering’ mean.
YES NO
10. You’ve been meaning to practice.
YES NO
Results:
7+ YES: Your Music Sucks!
4-7 YES: Serious Danger of Sucking.
2-4 YES: Your Music May Not Suck.
0-1: Your Music Doesn’t Suck.
Image by Benson Kua, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0).
Sounds scientific.
Well said.
So dumb.
You could be a great indie/local band and not have 1000 likes, not have a song on spotify, not have anyone stealing your music & play in other bands.
Just cause one member of your band doesn’t know what mixing or mastering does not mean your band/music sucks.
Again, so fucking dumb.
Not only may your music suck but you may going blind or tone deaf.
Paul, you should leave these type of articles up to Ari ;-)
hes much better at generating page views on stuff like this ;-)
ha, well this one seems to be doing quite well in its first hour.
Funny and true.
I get it, you frequently say less than 1000 likes on facebook is the true barometer of suckage.
What about all those sucky bands that pay for likes on facebook but lack an actual, organic following? As a band, you cannot fully rely on your facebook number as a true number of fandom. Mailing lists are a better way to actually reach your fans anyway. But, I get it. If you have 250,000 likes on facebook, you probably don’t suck.
And also the 3+ band rule, it is very commonplace for working musicians to hold it down with 10+ bands, plus teaching, and touring endlessly. It seems to be the exception to truly hit it big with one band. Although, that is the ideal and ultimate goal, it’s not the situation for most professional musicians.
Otherwise, this article was hilarious and fairly spot on.
Really good points.
On Facebook, I probably should have said ‘actual likes,’ because yes, likes are often purchased and gamed.
On the point regarding multiple groups, yes a gigging musician is often in multiple groups generating income on all of them. And, that doesn’t even include the large number of recordings, tours, etc., that are more temporary than ‘being in a group’. So I didn’t really distinguish that.
Just cause one member of your band doesn’t know what mixing or mastering does not mean your band/music sucks.
no but it might mean your recording sucks ;) j/s
Lemme take that survey…
1. It’s totally impossible to describe what you sound like.
YES NO
YES!
http://www.b11band.com
While it’s possible, it’s hard, because I don’t know any other 3 piece guitar driven bands that play so many styles (funk, soul, jazz, RnB, latin, waltzes & boleros, country AND Western, reggae, etc) and stylistically do justice in such a small format. Each song is a separate case.
2. Several people have remarked that you sound like another, specific band.
YES NO
No – if someone heard our version of “Peter Gunn” they might think Dick Dale on steroids, but if they hear “Waltz in A” – that’s totally different (instrumental U2 in waltz time meets derek trucks? I’m first, thanks!) and I don’t know anyone who sounds like that.
3. You can distinguish individual claps at your shows.
YES NO
YES – I have 2 weekly residencies with my band in the city of Boston. I can distinguish individual claps, YES, and proud of it. How many gigs have you played?
4. You have less than 1,000 Facebook likes.
YES NO
No, ok, I have 1400.
5. You play in more than 3 bands at the same time.
YES NO
YES – I make a living playing gigs. I don’t even teach. I play in more than 3 bands, though my own band is my Number One.
6. You make up your own chords.
YES NO
YES – and I can, I have 2 degrees in music and have been making cash playing guitar since I was 15.
7. No one is stealing your music.
YES NO
NO, not that I know of.
8. You have at least one song on Spotify that has never been played once.
YES NO
YES/NO – not sure, but I doubt my version of “Miami Beach Rhumba” is what you’d call hip, so likely it’s a low number.
9. You are not sure what ‘mixing’ and ‘mastering’ mean.
YES NO
NO – I know what they mean very well.
10. You’ve been meaning to practice.
YES NO
I practice as often as I can. I gig every day, in the summer 2-3 times per day.
So I guess my music sucks. How come I ended up on the cover of Boston Metronome, how come my peers like my music? Interesting…
Bottom line – you’re fishing for clicks.
Lou Donaldson has under 10k likes on FB. Sam Rivers has 2k. Maybe they suck too? LOL
Ok, I guess this is just a joke, but mostly you’re doing it for traffic. Paul, I liked your work, but you’re taking a wrong path.
What chord did you make up?
This is getting good.
I don’t have a Facebook page and I make ~1,500 EUR a month.
Apparently I have to give that money to Mark Nsaberg so that the various “gurus” and bloggers are satisfied in their bubble.
This is great journalism! =\
The conclusion seems very wrong:
7+ YES: Your label, manager, promoter and distributor Suck big time !
4-7 YES: Your label, manager, promoter and distributor Suck hard
2-4 YES: Your label, manager, promoter and distributor are dumb
0-1: You should seek a deal with a label, manager, promoter and distributor .
Assuming you have a label, manager, promoter and distributor…
LOL , what would i get for the survey?
1. Your biggest fans are either friends or relatives.
no. Most of my family has no idea what i do..
2. People keep remarking that you sound like another, specific band.
No – I can truthfully say I have never heard that from anyone.. ;-)
3. You can distinguish individual claps at your shows.
NO – that has never happened.. this year..
4. You have less than 1,000 Facebook likes.
YES – that is very true..
5. You play in more than 3 bands at the same time.
NO- i dont play in any bands..
6. You make up your own chords.
YES – yup.. done that.. or at least I thinbk I have.. mainly by accident..
7. No one is stealing your music.
YES – Since I dont have songs, thats a big yes..
8. You have at least one song on Spotify that has never been played once.
no yes? – technicality I would have to say no. mainly because of how the question is worded..
i dont even have one song on spotify.. but i guess that doesnt meet the intent.. so I should say yes?
9. You are not sure what ‘mixing’ and ‘mastering’ mean.
NO .. No, I am sure I know what those words mean.. and probably a bit more..
10. You’ve been meaning to practice.
no – I gave that up years ago..
now lets count
4 yeses..,, ya!
“2-4 YES: Your Music May Not Suck.”
wow thats weird.. I havent played guitar in probably 10 years? Havent been in a band in .. holy crap, over 20 yrs! ;-)
guess I still got it!
LOL
Your results do not qualify, since you aren’t playing music. Just like you can’t tell a truck driver his music sucks, this quiz cannot accurately judge your music.
Paul Quote “this quiz cannot accurately judge your music.”
which was pretty much the point I was trying to make :-)
see what I did there? LOL
I love you man, but you accomplished nothing with this exercise. Imagine this was a quiz about whether your dog is fat, and you tested it out on your parakeet. See the problem?
LOL,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218
http://www.montypython.net/scripts/terrier.php
Regardless of the answers to this quiz, chances are your music does suck.
So lets try it out.
1. Your biggest fans are either friends or relatives.
YES NO
No. Almost no of my friends know I do music.
2. People keep remarking that you sound like another, specific band.
YES NO
No, not exactly.
3. You can distinguish individual claps at your shows.
YES NO
No I can’t.
4. You have less than 1,000 Facebook likes.
YES NO
I don’t have a Facebook page so no, but I am gonna be making it in few weeks, Im gonna go to a professional photographer in few days to take few pictures for that page. (I have a personal Facebook page with my other hobby that has around 5,000)
5. You play in more than 3 bands at the same time.
YES NO
Nope, I played in a band where I was rapping some of the songs, but not anymore.
6. You make up your own chords.
YES NO
No I don’t
7. No one is stealing your music.
YES NO
Nope, no one is stealing my music, every things a free download.
8. You have at least one song on Spotify that has never been played once.
YES NO
No, I actually don’t
9. You are not sure what ‘mixing’ and ‘mastering’ mean.
YES NO
No I know exactly what mixing and mastering is!
10. You’ve been meaning to practice.
YES NO
Yes. I rap, my voice needs practice. The rest is amazing!! I have a Russian mixed with Icelandic accent! in the past two years Ive gotten my voice to get much better! need few more years
How many yes? 1 yes in total. Thats ”Your music doesn’t suck”
11. Do you get instantly butt-hurt by a silly but thought-provoking 10 point quiz?
YES. NO
Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress to play a girl bunny?
YES NO
Yea, me neither… I was just asking…
People tend to confuse music with recordings of performances of music.
Im confident . Only 3 yes’s.
Your article may suck.