Asad is a common first name. But ‘Asahd’ isn’t, so DJ Khaled is now trying to trademark his kid’s name with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office.
Whether ‘Asahd’ should qualify as a trademark under U.S. law is highly questionable. But it’s even more questionable whether pimping out a one-year old is good for a child’s development.
Either way, DJ Khaled (real name Khaled Mohamed Khaled) is now filing paperwork to trademark his kid’s name, Asahd. The application, filed with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office earlier this month, would cover a wide range of uses and associations, including jewelry, keychains, snack food, toy cars (including those that kids can drive), baby clothing, strollers, and toothpaste.
And that’s just the beginning: in multiple applications filed on April 4th with the USPTO, DJ Khaled has listed dozens of possible associations and uses. That includes far-fetched possibilities like ‘umbrella stands,’ ‘non-metal step stools,’ and ‘figurines and statuettes made of bone, plaster, plastic, wax, or wood’.
That’s part of an exhaustive attempt to cover every possible use of a trademark, and maximize the possibility of launching aggressive lawsuits against infringers.
So if your name is ‘Asad Khaled,’ your life could start sucking in about one year.
Actually, at least 6 different applications have been lodged with the USPTO, covering ‘Asahd,’ ‘Asahd Khaled,’ ‘Asad Couture,’ and ‘Asad Tuck Khaled’.
The trademark applications are all pending review, and the USPTO indicated a minimum three-month waiting period for review.
Reviewing the applications, it appears that Khaled’s attorneys are filing as broadly as possible. An application for something simple like ‘Asahd’ may seem ridiculous, especially since ‘Asad’ is already a common first name. But a sloppy approval process could award DJ Khaled a bonafide patent — and some perfect trademark abuse ahead.
The other names, including ‘Asahd Khaled’ and ‘Asahd Couture,’ appear more unique and potentially worthy of trademark protection (though trademarking a common name is very tricky, especially when it involves a one-year old).
The applications are part of a broader campaign by DJ Khaled to maximize profits from his offspring.
Asahd, a one-year old toddler, has already inked lucrative deals involving the Jordan franchise for kids shoes. He’s also branded kids toys, including ‘luxury’ kids items like toy Rolls-Royces. All of which suggests lots of branding deals ahead, whether little Asahd likes it or not.
But that’s just one part of this borderline exploitation. Earlier, the child’s birth was live-broadcast on Snapchat, and Khaled routinely involves his son in recordings, live appearances, and other events. All part of a deeply-questionable attempt to make a kid into a million-dollar corporation.
That’s either great training for a future mogul — or a huge payday for a future therapist. Let’s check back in about 10 years.